Monday, 31 May 2010

Twitter #britainscantfuckingspell


At 8:39pm, the number 1 trending topic on Twitter in the UK was:

Britans Got Talent

A contradictory statement with the spelling to prove it!!

Monday, 24 May 2010

Lost - I was after just 1 series.....

I only watched the 1st and half of the 2nd series of Lost. I stopped watching it after reading in Sky Magazine an interview with the show's creators, in which they stated that they didn't know how many series there were going to be, but estimated that it would be 4 or 5. This indicated to me that they knew how the show would ultimately end, but were obviously planning to 'kick the arse' out of it until it's popularity (and profitability) started to wane. At only 3 or 4 episodes into series 2, I already thought it was running out of steam/ideas and couldn't bear the thought of sitting through another 2 series.
I remember commenting to friends/relatives at the time and since, that it would more than likely end with everyone finding out it was a dream, similar to the Prisoner. Or, would end with everyone finding out they were dead (a la Sixth Sense) and the Island was some sort of Heaven/Afterlife.
So, after waking from a short Baileys induced Coma on my sofa at 5:20am, I was flicking through the channels and came across the Lost finale. Out of interest I decided to watch and I'm happy to say that I was nearly right and I'm so glad I didn't waste my time watching all 6 series.

Sunday, 23 May 2010

Enjoying the sunshine?

Seeing as my daughter's busy social schedule has left me at a bit of a loose end today, I need to think of something else to do to get out & enjoy the sunshine. I quite fancy just sitting quietly in the sun reading a book, but I don't have a garden so this will mean a trip to the local castle grounds. Unfortunately there will be other people there making noise and being all energetic and stuff, which could potentially ruin my 'quiet reading time'.

So, it's on with my favourite black T-shirt.....












And a careful selection of my favourite books.........











.......should ensure I'm not bothered by anyone


Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Hey Govt. want to save some cash, start at the IPS.....

AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SO THE 80 MILE ROUND TRIP FOR MY 10 MINUTE PASSPORT INTERVIEW WAS A COMPLETE FUCKING WASTE OF TIME.
OH SURE, THE INTERVIEW WAS TO 'STOP MY IDENTITY BEING STOLEN' AND IN THAT SENSE IT WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS......
BUT THEN YOU'VE POSTED MY PASSPORT THORUGH SOMEONE ELSE'S FUCKING DOOR, SO THERE WAS NO NEED TO STEAL MY IDENTITY, YOU JUST FUCKING HANDED IT TO THEM ON A FUCKING PLATE YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNTING FUCKING TWATING CUNTS.

I WANT MY £77.50 BACK YOU INCOMPETENT FUCKS!

Monday, 10 May 2010

I know my place.....

Another classic quote from the little monkey......

Old Lady at the entrance to an exibition centre:

Old Lady to me: "It's £3 for you, Sir"
and then to my daughter: "are you older than 5?"
My daughter: "Yes, I'm 7"
Old Lady: "Oh, Im sorry. It'll be £1.50 for you then"
My daughter: "No it won't (pointing to me) he's paying"

Thank you & Fuck you......

As a thank you for letting us shaft you for the last 13 years, we leave you this.....

CLICK

And, all because of this lot of lazy fuckers.....

Given the number of Public Sector jobs that have been created under Labour, we should all be very worried about the events in Greece......

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Slow Fucking Drivers.......

RIGHT, EXPLAIN THIS.......

You're taking your driving test and you drive consistently at 5mph above the speed limit - YOU FAIL.
You're taking your driving test and you drive consistently at 5mph below the speed limit - YOU FAIL.

You've passed your test and you're driving around at 5mph above the speed limit - YOU'RE BREAKING THE LAW.
You've passed your test and you're driving around at 5mph below the speed limit - NOTHING. NOT A DAMN FUCKING THING!!!

NOTICE TO DRIVERS IN CORNWALL & DEVON:
If it is a clear sunny, dry day and the speed limit is 60mph, then drive at 60mph. If you're not confident and/or capable of driving that fast, that's fine. Just make sure you pull over and/or move accordingly when safe to do so, to allow those of us who can/want to drive at and/or near the speed limit to go past.
This is especially important if you're driving at 45mph on a 60mph road and you're being followed by a yellow Seat......


Words of Wisdom from my daughter:
"Old people drive slow cause it's what they do......... everything slowly....... that's why I like Grandma & Grandad"

Monday, 3 May 2010

Christians Vs Homos: Round 5,006,846

Okay, so I’ve been throwing my shit thoughts out there, via this blog, for nearly a year now and have yet to get stuck into religion..... After a trip (North of the border) to Dark Lochnagar & RantinRab this morning, I feel it’s time to start throwing some religious poo......


So, in the last week, the God Squad (of the Christian variety) have been hitting the headlines over that old chesnut of ‘Homosexuality’. Many things have been said about the conflicting rights of someone’s freedom of speech(conscience/opinion) Vs. someone’s right to be protected from ‘offense’. As I have said before, it doesn’t matter what you say about anything, someone, somewhere, will take offense and so I will always take the side of freedom of speech, even if I don’t agree with what’s being said. The only exception to this is if someone is using their right to free speech to harm others, for example;

Okay - To say that homosexuality is a sin and/or abnormal.
Not okay - To say that all homosexuals should be killed, because they’re sinners.

Personally, I don’t see why Team Christ are getting all upset over the poofs & Lesbos, I think there are more pressing matters to be dealing with.....

Leviticus 11:7-8, states that we should not eat the flesh of Swine as it is unclean. How many people do you see each day eating a ham or bacon sarnie? What about the Supermarkets who openly promote joints of Pork for a Sunday roast – Sunday, the fucking Lord’s day!!

Leviticus 11:10-11, states that basically Shell-fish are an abomination and shouldn’t be eaten and if popular cultural stereotypes are to be believed, possibly millions of Australians are evil sinners!!

Leviticus 12:6, There must be millions of Women giving birth every day and yet when was the last time you saw a new Mother take a year old lamb and a pigeon to her local priest?! The dirty bitches!!

Leviticus 23:6, How many thousands of people eat from a loaf of Hovis or Kingsmill between the 15th & 22nd of January every year? And I bet some of those unclean fuckers even throw a slice of Ham between a couple of slices!!

Deuteronomy 20:10-14, Why haven’t the tens of thousands of Troops in Iraq killed all the male Iraqi’s yet and why aren't they using swords? Cause they’re all sinners!!!!!

Exodus 22:19, Again, if popular stereotypes are to be believed, there must be thousands of sinners in Wales & Cornwall!!

Matthew 5:32 & Luke 16:18, What about all the adulterers? In England & Wales in 2008, there were over 120,000 divorces and over 11,000 single men married divorced women – that’s at least 130,000 sinners!!

Leviticus 12:3, There are about 3,000,000,000 males on the planet over the age of 8 days, what percentage do you reckon are sinners?!!


Then again, we could all just mind our own business.....

Romans 14:10 – But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgement seat of Christ.....

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