Sunday 13 October 2013

The Law is an Ass and Estate Agents are Cunts

So, the Law in this Country now states that if you want to buy Land you have to provide evidence of, not only that you have the money, but that it was gained 'legally'. However, if you're selling Land you have to provide NO EVIDENCE AT ALL THAT YOU OWN IT. Also, the Estate Agents selling the Land are under no Obligation (Legal or otherwise) to check that what they're selling is legitimate, can lie about the Land's particulars and can even NOT disclose information (that they're aware of) to potential buyers which they know would de-value it.

It's cost me the best part of £800 to find this out.

CUNTYBALLS.

Saturday 7 September 2013

Do I still get the Wellies?.......

Our tea break chat was the usual "the job's shit, the company's shit" banter and after a brief pause I said "yeah, but you know what, Tom? I bet we'll still be here in 10 yrs doing the same shit & moaning about it".
"Not you, Rich. You'll be dead from stress by then".

I had to concede he was probably right..... 

"I don't know why you do it to yourself? why do people get so stressed? All we do is make sponge puddings....... badly".

"Well you're a fine one to talk" I countered: "You're not exactly Mr Calm are you?"

"I won't die of stress, I'll die in a high speed (motor)bike accident. Probably smack into some old dear and go flying off into a ditch at 100mph screaming....
"Tell Rich he can have my wellllllllies!!"

"Anyway" I said, "neither of us are going to die young because when you see young people who've died, on the news, they were always nice people. We're not nice. We're cunts. So we'll still be here".......



And so, several years later, on the day that Tom is laid to rest, I'm reminded that however shit things may be, there are people who would give everything just to be here............ 



And also:

1) My theory of 'only nice people die young' maybe flawed....
2) I maybe due a pair a Wellies....
3) Tom's, Quiche Vat '10year Service Award' suicide pact is still a possibility for me....





Saturday 16 February 2013

John Cleese creates Black Hole?......

Today we may have reached an Event Horizon.

The world of free speech and more importantly, humour, may be about to disappear into a Black Hole to form a singularity of the 'professionally offended'.

After the arrest of Oscar Pistorius, John Cleese posted on Twitter that, Pistorius will claim "being legless as his defence". A pretty harmless, albeit obvious, joke. Some people, as is now the norm, took great offence (for various reasons) to his joke & sent message after message telling him so. A day later, Cleese posted an apology for his "naughty" tweet. More messages from the offended and another day later, Cleese posts the following:

" Explanation required: Someone made the comment. I said yeah we should tweet that – sarcastically. Misunderstood "

I've always admired Cleese and the rest of the Pythons because they pushed the boundaries of Comedy. They continually fought against the 'establishment' to get their material out without being censored or dumbed down incase 'people were upset or offended'.

The scene below from The Life of Brian is one of my favourites. The whole subject of the scene is so relevant today and Cleese is brilliant as the increasingly frustrated voice of reason.......



I hoped that Cleese would show some of the balls that the Python's had back in the 60s & 70s and told these offended twats to fuck the fuck off...... But, he's been beaten into an apology (of sorts).

Is this the 'Star' collapsing and therefore the start of the Black Hole.........

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