Testing

Testing testing......

Absent Fathers are no better than drink-drivers - Really?!

Dear Mr Cameron,

How would you 'define' an absent father?

Perhaps you should think about and indeed answer this question before calling on society to treat so-called 'absent fathers' as little more than scum.

Ask my ex-wife and many of her friends/associates about me and no doubt they would call me an absent father. I walked of the family home years ago, but not because I didn't want to be a father.

Yesterday (father's day), I was supposed to spend the day with my child, but according to the mother she wasn't feeling well. Maybe that was geniunely the case, or maybe the fact that 2 days before I refused to pay off some of the mother's debts had something to do with it?...........

When parents separate, the 'state' and 'law' is overwhelmingly in favor of mothers.
Mothers invaribly do not work and so receieve full legal aid. The best that fathers who work can hope for is legal help, which is based on thier disposable income. If you're earning the 'national average wage', you could receive up to £800 in legal help. With a solicitor and/or legal advisor charging £50 - £175 per hour, £10 for letters and £15 for a 20min phone call, £800 doesn't last long. This is a fact that is used and abused by mothers, who can drag out the legal processes to the extent that the fathers run out of of money long before anything can be arranged with regards to the children. With no money to be able to fund a competent solicitor, father's rights and options are near enough non-existent. There are mediation options which can be provided free and/or at a greatly reduced rate, but mothers are not compelled by law to attend - and so usually do not.
 Even if fathers have the money to take things through the courts, mothers can drag things out so that the fathers are virtually bankrupted. Then, even if an agreement is reached, the mother can just ignore it and make up all sorts of excuses as to why. The onus is then on the father to take the mother back to court - this can be upto 4 or 5 times until the courts will actually impose any threats of arrest etc on the mother (not forgetting that each time you go to court the father will have to pay, in full, for legal representation whilst the mother would get full legal aid).
 Once father's have lost thier legal options they can be systemactically removed from thier children's lives by the mother. The mother can move to the other side of the country and this can be completely funded by the state. Mothers can even move to another country - all without the father's permission. Father's can't even take their children abroad for a holiday without the mother's permission! Fathers can be banned from any involvment with thier child's education and health at the mother's behest, all supported by the local education/health authorities.

Here are some interesting facts for you:
Occurring to a man:
Be divorced 53%
Be divorced by wife using fabricated grounds 24%
Lose custody of his children 24%
Lose his home 39%
Lose a significant proportion of life savings 49%
Not receive legal aid 64%
Have false allegations made against him 58%
Be the victim of malpractice's in his legal case 87%
Suffer obstruction to contact with his children 61%
Suffer stress 83%
Will not remarry (surprise, surprise!!) 77%

Assets : man to woman - (average)
Transferred at marriage - £9913
Transferred at divorce - £18804 (that's right, women get 100% more for getting divorced!)

Then of course we have the CSA. They can take at least 15% of the father's 'take home pay' and hand it straight to the mother, even if the father has been totally cut out of thier child's life. Fair? - What would you say if I told you that you had to pay 15% of your take home pay to me to pay for my Ferrari, but you're not allowed to even see it, let alone drive it?
 Also, some men have money taken from them even though they are not the fathers. But because some woman says they're the Dad they have to pay. But what about a DNA test? I hear you cry. You need the mother's permission to have it done or (you guessed it) you have to go to court to get it done. Even then, men can still have money taken off them until the DNA results are confirmed and if it's proven that he isn't the father, there is no guarantee that he'll get his money back.

Some more interesting facts for you:
CSA father employment rate 55% (normal rate 87%)
Number of fathers unemployed because of CSA < or = 32%
Number of CSA related suicides 39 (1993-1996)
Average accuracy rate of calculated payments 34% accurate

So, Mr Cameron..... all of your 'ideas' (so far) seem to revolve around fathers being in relationships with the mother: Tax breaks for couples, relationship support to prevent breakdowns and health visitors to support families (because of course the nanny-state knows best).
So, what about when relationships - no matter what - do breakdown?
Any chance of some support for the fathers then?...........

Wise words.......

My two favourite things..........

In these days of austerity......

Cost of keeping a Prison inmate - £40,000.
Cost of a Prison inmate getting his throat slashed - £100,000.
Cost of buying big Barry on D-Wing a decent set of Kitchen Devils - Priceless

(or £20 in Argos).

Unbelievable....... oh, actually (in today's Wonderfully Great Britain) it's not.

Riddle me this.......

I am not allowed by Law to protect myself.
If I am found to be carrying a Gun or Knife by the Police, I would be arrested.
I've been advised in the past that I should keep a ball next to the Baseball bat that I have, as on it's own the Bat can be regarded by the Police as an offensive weapon!
If I put broken glass on my garden wall to stop people stealing my patio furniture, I could be arrested!
I once knew someone who was charged with GBH for punching a man (who attacked his mate & girlfriend) just once in the face. The reason the Police tried to charge him with GBH? He was a black belt in Karate and an accomplished Kick Boxer, so in the Police's view his hands were offensive weapons - I shit you not!! (he eventually got  charged with common assault).

Anyway the point is; we are not allowed to defend ourselves, so that means it's upto the Police to do it for us. So if they fail, we can sue thier arses off, yeah?.......

NO.

So to be clear; if someone comes up to me and slashes my throat I cannot sue the Police for not protecting me......

Can anyone please explain then, why a fucking mudering cunt of a paedophile is being allowed to sue the Prison service for not protecting him?!!

Erm, WHAT THE FUCK?!!

Met Commissioner: "I cannot guarantee photography guidelines will be rightly interpreted"


The Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson has reaffirmed street photography rights at a Metropolitan Police Authority Committee meeting last week, but was unable to guarantee that all police officers would interpret the law in the right way.

Okay, then Mr Stephenson. I'm afraid that I cannot guarantee that I will correctly interpret the law and therefore cannot be held accountable for my actions - just like your dickhead Officers...... 

Source

Milk

I believe that there are certain situations where it should be legal to punch someone squarely in the face.
Here is one such situation......

During my long sentence in supermarkets (punishment for fucking around in school), there were many things that pissed me off...... usually to do with retarded customers.

The one thing that regularly yanked my chain occured at the milk section.

When it comes to shopping for food & drink there are certain brands/flavours that you will always buy; no matter what. For example, I always buy Pepsi. I'm not exactly sure why, but given a choice I will always go for Pepsi. It is extremely rare to see me buying/drinking Coca Cola.
 Some of these specific preferences can be based on influences from our parents, childhood, friends, advertising or; are quite simply down to persoanl taste.
I've always thought that milk is one of those things that people have a specific preference for. When you ask someone what milk they buy 99% of the time they will give you one variety. For me it's whole milk. Always has been. When I go shopping for milk I go straight to the blue top bottles and grab what I need.
Which is why I don't understand, WHY do people have to spend ages staring at the milk section? There are 3 fucking choices. Red. Green. Blue.
I bet you've drank the same milk for nearly all your life, but still you have to spend 2 minutes staring at the milk section TRYING TO FUCKING DECIDE!!
JUST TAKE THE MILK & FUCK OFF OUT OF MY WAY........

Thank you.

A poem.... of sorts....

So, this week at work I've received (from colleagues) the same email several times purporting to be a poem written by a cancer sufferer, with the usual "pass this on and each time you do £1 will go to cancer research, blah, blah...... I'm sure you know, as well as I do, that nearly all these emails are spammy, scammy crap.
 I did question wether the twats sending these emails should be disciplined under the Company's email policy for sending spam. I was told I was being 'tight' and it was 'okay'. However, when I suggested that I may start sending pornographic pictures out and claiming they were taken by a cancer sufferer, I was told I'd probably be sacked - fucking double standards!!
Anyway, this all got me to thinking about writing a poem. Quite frankly, I couldn't be arsed, so here's a little something that I wrote earlier........ about 20 years earlier as a protest against having to write poems (the idea being that I would write something so fucked up that I wouldn't be asked to write a poem again!!)

Sea of Eternal Sleep

I lie awake and dream.
A sea of darkness creeps over my body.
Waves of black slumber wash into my head
flooding my mind with cold fatigue.

I float out into vast emptiness.
I look back to see myself,
lying on the sands of reality; except it's not me.
It's not me anymore, it's just a shell.
A shell completely vacuous.
Frozen by death's touch.

My shell is surrendured to the earth,
presented in a simple wooden box.
Friends grieve and say goodbye
I'll see them soon. Not in this world
but in the next.
I hope they're not late!

People dressed in black stand along the shore.
They cry and I myself begin to cry.
But I cry tears of joy and relief,
for I have been set free, from my empty,
hopeless, dreamless life;
where happiness was welcome, but never came.

I now travel to my new world.
It's called Hell, but I shall call it Heaven.
This world yields dark hopes and evil dreams.
Happiness will still be welcome
and I'm sure it will come.
Black and cold, but it will come.

I lie awake and dream.
(My tears of joy and relief have passed)
Waiting to reach the place
which will be my new home.
A place which can only be reached on-
the Sea of Eternal Sleep


Unsurprisingly it didn't work.

P.S.
Pass this on to all your friends and £1 will be donated each time to the Angry Ginger Monkey Charity.......

Bliar's Liebour Govt. told porky pies........

Iraq inquiry: Government ‘intentionally and substantially’ exaggerated WMD threat
Tony Blair’s government ‘intentionally and substantially’ exaggerated the threat from Saddam Hussein ahead of the war in Iraq, a former senior British diplomat has claimed.

Mr Carne, who served at the UN between 1997 and 2002, claimed that the British and United States governments were fully aware that there was no “substantial threat” from Iraq ahead of the war.

"At no point did we have any firm evidence, from intelligence sources or otherwise, of significant weapons holdings."

And in other news;
The Pope admits that he "shits in the woods"
and
David Attenborough confirms that "bears wear hats"

Hey, Northumbrian Police!......

........try the local Asda!

Twilight.....

......for guys!!!!

Twilight......

Um....oh yes.......I'm a vampire your Honor...... Don't know nothing 'bout stalking.......

Dear.......

Dear Cunt, who hit my car yesterday.

IF I EVER FIND YOU, ME AND MY FRIEND BARRY (the baseball bat), WILL FUCK YOU UP.

THAT IS ALL

CUNT.

England Vs Germany

BY A COUNTRY FUCKING MILE YOU USELESS BLIND C**TS.

2010...... BILLION POUND BUSINESS........ AND NO MODERN TECHNOLOGY......

SEPP BLATTER....... FIFA....... YOU ARE C**NTS.

AND YES, WE WILL USE THIS AS OUR EXCUSE FOR BEING KNOCKED OUT
(despite the fact it's actually cause we've played like a shower of shite throughout the whole tournament).

SO FUCK OFF.