Monday, 4 January 2010

What the Fuck has happened to Top gear?!

Watching last nights show I couldn't help but feel that Top Gear is finished. It has, in the last year, become a boring, predictable parody of itself. This is especially evident in the challenges and so-called specials with all 3 presenters now 'acting up' to their on-screen personas.
For example; The Borneo special was fucking shit cause it was so predictable. Why? Because it's all scripted around the presenters and every one now follows the same theme....
Clarkson, the petrol head, gets the biggest,gas-guzzling, seemingly worthless piece of crap. Doesn't take things seriously. Spouts alot of Caveman-esque, chauvanistic quotes and does alot better than the condition of his vehicle would suggest.
Hammond, the ponce, gets the most 'feminine' and/or obvious vehicle and screams and screeches his way to the end, usually teaming up with Clarkson to play some hilarious(!) pratical joke on May on the way.
May, Cpt Slow, picks the most mundane vehicle and gives us the full stats on vehicles/challenges, rants at Clarkson/Hammond's lack of respect/seriousness for the challenges/vehicles and says 'cock' alot.

 Also, it's a car show but you hardly get to see any of the cars anymore! I end up with fucking motion sickness due to the editing and special effects - does the producer/editor of this show have ADHD or something?

Last nights show was absolutely  fucking awful.
Hammond crashing into xmas tree - yawn......
I had to look up the Lexus LFA online this morning to see what it actually looked like cause I couldn't see it through all the stupid (manga style?) effects!..... and Hammond's constant girly screeching......*grinds teeth*.
Clarksons piece on the BMW x6 was obviously supposed to be funny, but wasn't!! and so predictable given the set-up they gave it - We have no money in the lets go to Australia to see if the glove box works - oh, absolute comedy f u c k i n g genius!!
May - Cpt Slow - again, predictable - other than the road sign lady which was obviously the most interesting part of the piece seeing as I can't even remember what car he was reviewing (Vauxhall?).
Even the Top Gear awards were boring - "Stig, give me the cock back" - yawn
The only light at the end of this tunnel is the star in a reasonably priced car - Why? Because it's the only part of the show which isn't scripted around the 3 presenters (hilarious!?!) personas and actually just shows someone (in a normal edited film) driving a car - Isn't that what a 'car' show should be about?
Please BBC, sort it out or just fucking scrap it.......

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