Couldn't have put it any better........

I've heard some excuses for not going & getting a job.......

I clamped my hand firmly over my mouth, but it was no good the sick just sprayed out from inbetween my fingers............

Irish Wikipedia

Click

Just quit will you!!...........

I've been trying to think of something to write about this for the last day or so, some clever critical comment..... but all I can say is......

WHAT A STUPID FUCKING TWAT.....

Saudi Laws - Mental, but Sane at the same time?!

Ok, so Saudi Arabia doesn't exactly have the best record for Human Rights......

Some of their punishments seem a bit...... mental(?)....

A court in Qunfuda sentenced nine Saudi alleged transvestites in April. Five drew prison terms of six years and 2,600 lashes, and the other four were sentenced to five years and 2,400 lashes. The floggings reportedly were to be carried out in fifty equal sessions, with a fifteen-day hiatus between each punishment.

Others seem (remarkably) sane....

a court had ordered the surgical removal of the left eye of an Egyptian, Abd al-Muti Abdel Rahman Muhamed, after he was convicted of throwing acid in the face of another Egyptian, injuring and disfiguring his left eye.

This one for me though, is right on the money.....

A man in Saudi Arabia is to be beheaded and crucified after he raped five children and left one of them, a three-year-old boy, to die in the desert.

Full story

Lets hear it for sharia law!....... ok, maybe not.......

Postmen.......

CLICK

Altogether Now!!........

An appropriate time to re-post my 'remix' of a kids classic:

*Postman Pat theme tune*

Postman pat, Postman pat, Postman pat is a useless twat.
His eyesight must be poor,
despite 3 notes on the door,
he puts my post in the wrong fuckin box!'

God knows how he knows,
how to drive his van.
How can he see the road -
when he can't read letters,

Maaaaybe he'll get it right one day,
wether he knocks *knock, knock*
..rings.. *ring, ring*
I just want MY fuckin letters -through-MY-door
 
Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat is a uselss twat,
always out on strike,
but you can't get ur job right,
no wonder royal mail loses millions every year


God knows why you can't
get MY letters to MY door,
It cannot be that hard
when there's signs there to tell you

Maaaaaybe the Polish temp should get the round full time,
he doesn't knock *knock, knock*
..ring.. *ring, ring*
but he gets MY letters -through-MY-door.....
 
Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat is a useless twat,
On strike over contracts & wages,
but you're so fuckin lazy,
no wonder you are such a ...really...happy.... man

*music fades to finish*

FUCK OFF HOME YOU WANKERS AND STOP INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE!!

I didn't think anything would wind me up as much as the lazy fucking Royal Mail today, but I've just got home to see this on Sky News

What a fucking load of bollocks!!......and I don't mean Nick Griffin appearing on Question Time...... I'm talking to the stupid twatting protesters.
By protesting you are insulting me.
You are basically saying that I'm a fucking idiot and cannot make up my own mind as to who I want to vote for.
Look at all the Police there. They could be off solving & preventing real crimes. Instead they are there having to 'control' you bunch of fucking morons.
The Anti-Fascists  lazy fucking bastards don't want Nick Griffin appearing on Question Time.
Why? .......Because the BNP don't have the same beliefs as you? Because, you're scared people will listen and maybe agree with them?

WHO ARE THE FASCISTS NOW?!!

Whatever you think of the BNP, they ARE a POLITICAL PARTY. People vote for them!!
Rather than getting all hot & bothered about what the BNP stand for, you should be asking yourselves WHY PEOPLE ARE VOTING FOR THEM!! Because that is the REAL issue here!!
People are voting for them because they have become so fed-up with the 'main' political parties, with the way in which they have failed to represent the peoples' interests whilst greedily stuffing their pockets with our taxes.
Rather than Ban the BNP, we should allow them to speak and make up our own minds as to what they say. The 'main' Political parties need to hear what the BNP are saying to enable them to re-engage with the ordinary people who have felt no other option but to vote for them.

So to all you protesters at the BBC.....

FUCK OFF HOME YOU WANKERS AND STOP INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE!!

And this idiot, David Lammy reckons Skinheads will be terrorising the streets tonight because they'll be emboldened by Nick Griffin's appearance on QT...... For the sake of fuck.......

How close is 'dangerously' close?.....

Don't ask David Wilshire, he obviously has NO idea.......

David Wilshire, the Conservative MP who paid more than £100,000 of expenses to his own company, has complained that he works “dangerously close” to working the minimum wage.
It has emerged that Mr Wilshire complained about his MP’s salary and long hours to trainee journalists at a meeting in Westminster this week.


“I work 60 to 70 hours a week some weeks,” he said, according to various reports.


“When you look at what I earn, it comes dangerously close to working out as the minimum wage.”

Really?!
MPs Salary = £65,000 (that's basic - without the expenses!)
Number of weeks (a year) spent at Westminster = 21
21wks x 70hrs = 1470hrs
65000 / 1470 = £44.22 an hour
National Minimum Wage = £5.80

Even if he worked 70hrs every week of the year, his hourly rate would still work out at £17.86
He would have to work 200 hours a week to be close to the minimum wage!!

Yet another fat greedy fucking bastard who has no idea about what life is like for the people that he supposedly represents......

Inevitability........

Shhhh....... It's the 'R' word........

So how much of our money has been spent on this pointless case?

BNP leader Nick Griffin has agreed to ask his party to amend its constitution so it does not discriminate on grounds of race or religion, a court heard.

Although I would agree with the Equality and Human Rights Commission that 'everyone' has to obey the law, was this case really necessary? Even the Judge pointed out the obvious.....

"the judge said no evidence had been presented to suggest many people from ethnic minorities wanted to join the BNP"

Seriously, if you were from an 'ethnic minority' and not born in the UK would you really want to join the BNP? (I'm white & British and I don't want to join the BNP!)
 It seems as though Nick Griffin's claim that this case was brought simply to try and bankrupt the BNP due to the legal bills, may not be too far from the truth(?)......

And then we have this...


What a ridiculous statement to make! Does she even know the true definition of racism/racist?

Jo Brand is a Labour supporter and what she says is important, because it reflects the beliefs of this Labour Govt. They have practically made it impossible for the White Christian majority of this country to celebrate thier religion/ethnicity for fear of 'offending' others and anyone who voices concerns over this is branded a racist.

Another waste of fecking money then.......

Billions spent on 'protecting' our identities, all fucked by a £750 printer from PC World!!

Identity cards will provide an easy and secure way for legal UK residents to prove who they are.

This line comes direct from the Home Office website (click the link & see for yourself!). Note the word that I've highlighted.....

By locking one individual to one identity using their biometrics, the National Identity Service will make it much harder to create false identities

This comes from the DirectGov website. Again, note the highlighted bit....


Now, read this....

Summary of MPs expenses

Some of them understandable, others..... well see for yourself....

CLICK

Fuck me! You just don't get it, do you?!

Un.be.fucking.lievable

MPs have threatened to throw out a report into the expenses scandal by Sir Thomas Legg, who was appointed by the leaders of all three main political parties to review claims, and who will send letters to all members today telling them how much he calculates they have overclaimed in the last five years.

I do not claim to speak for the 'general public', but I'm fairly certain that my feelings/views on the 'Expenses' scandal are shared by many. Which is.....

"YOU ARE/WERE TAKING THE PISS"

I accept that some of you need certain expenses to be able to perform your duties, but expenses for gardening, cleaning, widescreen TVs, toilet seats, porn films & a fecking Duck House, do you really need these to do your job.... NO!

MPs say that Sir Thomas has exceeded his brief by setting an arbitrary annual limit of £1,000 for gardening claims and £2,000 for cleaning. No such limits were in force at the time they lodged their claims, which were approved by the Commons Fees Office.

“On one level, I can understand the reaction, because, remember, they claimed these allowances and expenses against the then existing rules. They did it honestly and fairly. The House of Commons authorities and Fees Office approved what they had done".

WTF?!....
It doesn't matter to me if Sir Legg has exceeded his brief or that what you claimed was acceptable and authorised 2,3 or 4 years ago, what matters is wether it was an honest and fair way to utilise the public's money!

Sir Stuart Bell told the BBC they were examining a basis for a challenge. “If there is a suggestion that Sir Thomas is not abiding by the rules and standards at the time, I think the public would accept that some breach of fairness there is not actually proper for our MPs,”

Oh, SIR Bell(***), you are sooooooooooooo wrong!! I certainly will NOT accept it, as your beloved 'rules and standards at the time', were a complete crock of shit drawn up and ratified by greedy bastard MPs to see how much they could screw the tax-payers, to line their own pockets.

Perhaps a fairer way to sort this out, would be for each MP to reveal to thier constituents what their letter says and let them decide wether they(the MPs) should do what the letter says or challenge it. After all an MP is......

a representative of the voters...

It seems as though many of you have forgotten this and are only representing yourselves..........

UPDATE: So it's okay to take £60,000+ of our money (by what is tantamount to Fraud) as long as you say sorry?!

Wankers

Attention Horror Fans

Paranormal Activity is coming to the UK at the end of November.

If you liked the Blair Witch Project, you'll LOVE this!!!

Is it okay to be racist at the BBC?....

All depends on how you apologise.......

Seeing as I (and millions of others) pay their fucking wages, I would expect the BBC to be unbiased, fair and to some extent, represent the Public's views and opinions. The recent bullshit over the 'Strictly race row', proves just how far from my expectations they really are....

Carol Thatcher was dropped by the BBC earlier this year (after an off-air comment) because of:

the nature of her apology, with the BBC feeling she had missed the point in claiming it had all been a joke.

As far as I'm aware, at the time nobody made a complaint about Thatcher's comment, but over 2000 people complained about the BBC dropping her.

Now we have Anton Du Beke and his 'Paki' comment, who has this excuse:

"During the course of rehearsals Laila and I have exchanged a great deal of banter entirely in jest, and two weeks ago there was an occasion when this term was used between the two of us"

And, according to the BBC it's okay because;

Anton Du Beke has apologised unreservedly to Laila Rouass who has accepted his apology.

Even the Coffin-Dodger says it's all fine!!

Interesting to note, that at this point the BBC has received nearly 500 complaints about Anton's comment......

HaHaHaHa...... No wait... it's not April 1st... is it?..... You mean this is true?

I shit you not......

Tim Nicholson, 41, of Oxford, was made redundant in July 2008 as head of sustainability at Grainger Plc, Didcot.
A judge ruled in March he could use employment equality laws to claim unfair dismissal.

Sounds fairly straight foward..... yeah?

Mr Nicholson, who said his belief in climate change governed his life to the extent that he no longer flies, had said in a written statement that the company's chief executive Rupert Dickinson did not take his concerns about climate change seriously.

Okaaaaay........

...to claim he was unfairly dismissed because of his views on climate change.

Alright, then.....

He was given permission to make his claim under the Employment Equality (Religion and Belief) Regulations 2003 that covers "any religion, religious belief, or philosophical belief".

Okay.... WAIT..... YOU WHAT?!...... Climate change a  FUCKING religious/philosophical belief?.... Since when?

Climate Change cannot be a religion/religious belief. For a start, Climate Change is (supposedly) man-made and has nothing to do with super-human controlling powers and/or gods. There's no 'faith' involved and what deity is there to adore or idolise that's connected to Climate Change?......



So that leaves us with philosophical, 'according to philosophy' (by definition). How does philosophy enter into Climate Change? It isn't the pursuit of truth or knowledge of principles, ideologies or wisdom. It doesn't involve reason and/or argument, in seeking the ultimate truth. Climate Change is exactly what it says on the tin.... Changes in the climate (otherwise know as weather). Climate change is about Meteorology, Climatology, etc dealing with facts and figures - statistical data. In other words...... SCIENCE.

Before any Environ-mentalists, accuse me of being a Jeremy Clarkson sympathiser, consider the consequences of this case should it be successful......

Claim by vegetarian retail assistant for constructive dismissal, cause she had to eat her lentils in the staff canteen next to people eating bacon sandwiches.....

Claim by IT technician for unfair dismissal after he was sacked for numerous unauthorised absences when he was off attending religious festivals Star Trek Conventions....

Claim by Vegan Builder for unfair dismissal, after he was sacked for refusing to wear his safety boots (which were made from 'animal products'), in favor of his hemp sandals.....

Then again....... if this case is successful, I'll be able to start watching Porn on my computer at work..........

Picture from motivated photos

Harriet Harman should be let off.....

Harriet Harman is being investigated by police after allegedly leaving the scene of an accident in which she drove into a parked car

Now here's something you won't here me say that often...



Usually I would lauch into a rant about how our MPs are taking the piss with thier 'one rule for us & and another for you' attitude and indeed many of today's papers are featuring the above story with that kind of 'editorial' slant. But, considering my experiences with a similar offence several years ago, I would have to say that Ms Harmen should be let off (at least for the driving without due care & and leaving the scene of an accident offences). Because when I was the victim in a similar incident the Police refused to investigate on the grounds that 'it was not in the Public's interest' and would be a waste of 'Police' time. But, because of her public profile the Police appear to be 'thoroughly' investigating and this may well lead to criminal charges.
Seems as though the 'one rule....etc....' attitude has backfired on this MP - I hope to see more!!!

ROFLMFAO

Update: Biker chap is apparently Gulf War Vet, with 2 Black Belts!!

Nearly fell off me chair laughing......

Chav wanker.....



Thanks to Old Holborn

GET. FUCKING. IN

Yeah, Fuck You..... Fucking Jobsworth!!

I JUST WANT MY FUCKING DRUGS

So, 12 years and billions of pounds into the NHS later and I can't pick up my medication from the Doctors, even though I'm THERE ALREADY, because I live closer to a Pharmacy?
So, I've got to drive home, then walk into town to the Pharmacy. But, the Pharmacy won't take my prescription because it's hand written (even though I was told that this would be okay). So I go home get back in my car and drive to another Pharmacy, but they also won't accept my prescription because I'm not registered with them(?). So, back in the car to the Doctors who accept the prescription. Then when I go to pick it up, they don't actually give me any drugs (even though I can see them on the bloody shelf behind them!), they give me a 'printed' prescription to take to another Pharmacy!!.........
So, all this pissing about and 6 miles of driving to pick up drugs that I could've got from the Medical Centre when I WAS THERE 7 FUCKING DAYS AGO!!!!!!!

Thank you, Labour for this wonderful NHS.....

Blurring the lines between good & bad, for the sake of Consumerism?

So, the Nazis were bad..... Right?
They killed 6million people for being Jewish, countless others for being homosexual or Political opponents.
They killed 3million Poles & (upto) 20million Soviets when trying to expand the German 'Empire(?)' to the East.
They developed an 'Authoritarian' state..... "Ein Volk (one people), Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer (one leader)"  and rapidly became a dictatorship through 'Gleichschaltung'.
So, it was only right that we should go over there and kick their arses when they wouldn't leave Poland alone. (Ironically leaving them to the Russians after WW2).

Saddam Hussien and the Ba'ath Party, they were bad..... Right?
He ordered the deaths of thousands of Politcal opponents.
He was (alledgedly) behind the gassing of thousands of Kurds in the late 80s.

But, The Chinese Communist Party, they're okay..... Right?

"How many died as a result of persecutions and the policies of Mao? Perhaps you care to guess? Many people over the years have attempted to guess. But they have always underestimated. As more data rolled in during the 1980s and 1990s, and specialists have devoted themselves to investigations and estimates, the figures have become ever more reliable. And yet they remain imprecise. What kind of error term are we talking about? It could be as low as 40 million. It could be as high as 100 million or more. In the Great Leap Forward from 1959 to 1961 alone, figures range between 20 million to 75 million. In the period before, 20 million. In the period after, tens of millions more."

Well, if they're making us cheap shit, who cares...... Right?

I'm never going to be able to retire!!!

So Labour's our national debt stands at over 700billion (nearly a 20% increase in the last year!) and is heading towards 1trillion. And yet, Mr Brown announced yesterday lots of great things that Labour are going to do for us - all of which will cost MORE money - but without making any cuts to 'frontline' services and there was no mention of increasing taxes(?). Also, during his speech he made a big deal of how Labour were right to spend their way out of the recession...... It seems as though Mr Brown believes that the economy will recover in a few years and once everyone is back in work and spending their wages again, then the Govt. will be able to pay off their our debt with all our their tax money.

Now, I've been thinking......

The current 'generation' are up to their eyeballs in personal debt (mortgages, credit cards, etc...) and so many people (hopefully) have learnt their lesson and will not be returning to the 'consumerism' of before and will use their wages to pay off their debts and start saving up (for the next recession!!). So, the economy may well pick up, but it will be very slowly. So that means it's upto the next generation to pay off the debt......

(Much to the annoyance of my ex-wife) I often think about the future and alot about my Daughter's future. Mostly, I think about her education. During Mr Brown's speech yesterday he mentioned how Labour have now made sure that all kids will stay in some form of education until they're 18. Also, they are getting more & more to go to university. This potentially means that my daughter will be in fulltime education until she is in her mid twenties. Also, more than likely, she will leave university upto her eyeballs in debt from student loans. So, she'll probably be paying off her student debts for the rest of her twenties and then she'll want to buy a house and stuff when she's in her thirties, which means she won't be spending alot of money...... which will not help the economy, which will not help reduce our national debt.

But, most importantly, she will not be able to pay for my retirement home and mental health care!!

So, how are we going to pay off this debt? Simple - No-one is allowed to retire!!!

The inside story of......... Hypocrisy?

So today 'NO EXPENSES SPARED', the inside story of the MPs expenses row is published. And, it is revealed that the reasons behind the leak were anger over the treatment of our troops in Iraq/Afghanistan.
I suppose that this 'moral outrage' was a good a reason as any to have leaked the documents to the Telegraph, so it would go without saying then, that the authors of this book (the Daily Telegraph's Deputy Political Editor, Robert Winnett and Chief Reporter Gordon Rayner) will be donating all thier royalties to Charities that help our Forces.....

Wouldn't it?.......

Check out my review of the book, before Amazon remove it!!



Help for Heroes            RBL Poppy Appeal

E(u)asy Money......

picture from www.istockphotos.com

So every year the Govt. hand over a shed load (£4billion in 2007) of 'our' tax money to the EU. Some of this money goes towards 'grants' which are given to 'worthy' groups/causes... Want to know what some of these worthy groups/causes are?

Well:**
(£=Euros)

£21 million goes to Ecotec Research & Consulting Ltd who do stuff like this

£24million goes to Bolivia (last time I looked that was in South America, not Europe!) for "Cooperation with developing countries in Latin America"

£20million goes to The World Bank (in the fecking US!) for "Cooperation with developing countries in (fucking) Asia"

£23million goes to Thales Avionics for 'Research'. I used to work at Thales, amongst other things, they build stuff for the military.....

£987,000 goes to Italy for "PROMOTING A RIGHTS-BASED AND NON-DISCRIMINATORY APPROACH TO RECEPTION OF MIGRANTS AND REFUGEES’ BY PUBLIC AUTHORITIES AND CIVIL SOCIETY ACTORS IN EGYPT" - Yeah, I don't know what it fucking means either!!

£981,000 goes to Denmark for this - Denmark, part of the Med?!

£31,000 goes to Czech Republic, Education, Audiovisual and Culture Executive Agency for "Czechoslovak Political Prisoners: Oral Histories of Victims of Stalinism"

Seems as though you can get a grant for doing any old shite and the Spanish have certainly got it all worked out.....

£21,000 to Spain, for.... wait for it..... "Translation of 7 books into Spanish"
And...
£19,000 to Spain, Nuclear action of the Joint Research Centre for.... (I shit you not!) "review of a collection of paper"

I've decided I'm gonna ride this Cash Cow and so I've set up the following group:

The Associated Kibosh Evolutionary, Transexual Haberdashers Executive's, Participation In Socialist Secularism or (for short)....

TAKE, THE, PISS

Hopefully the cheque is in the post....

**figures from European Commission website

Tesco in cahoots with Darth Vader....

Not a very 'exciting' story, but worth reading for Tesco's comments...

Labour's Experian report should make for interesting reading......

So, it's Official.... Labour have totally lost control of public spending!!
Last month alone the Govt. borrowed £16.1billion - thats twice the budget for the 2012 Olympics. At this rate the interest alone would be £30 billion a year - thats £500 for EVERY Man, Women and Child in the UK. And it's only set to get worse with tax revenues taking a nose dive (down 9% last month) and unemployment heading towards 3million.
And yet, Mr Brown has been recently been making a big deal of how a Tory Govt. would cut Public spending by 10%, whereas a Labour Govt. would continue to invest in public services (yeah, cause the billions that you've thrown at Public services over the last 12yrs have made such a difference haven't they?!!)... Just 1 question Mr Brown,
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA GET THE MONEY FROM?!
More borrowing? How are you gonna pay off the debt?.... TAX RISES of course! You won't say it, but we're not fucking stupid, Mr Brown!!
So it seems to me that we have this choice...
Labour spending more money it doesn't have and then taxing us to death to pay for it...
OR
Conservative spending less and not taxing us...

Guess where my vote goes...

BTW, in the time it took you to read this the National Debt has increased by £722,040

Have a nice day!

Could've been prevented.....

So, the Police and Council decided to do fuck all cause they thought she was 'over-reacting'.
Can't help but feel that if this poor woman and her daughter were from an 'ethnic minority', then the Police & Council would've helped out straight away....

Click

Debt Calculator

Now I can see exactly how much debt this shite Govt has got me into.....

More Labour Hipocrisy?

If Baroness Scotland does not at least receive a £5000 fine, then it'll be even more evidence of just how bent the Labour Govt is......

One rule for us and another for them...

Wankers!

Why bother working, when being on benefits can be so much better!!

New Labour has spent the last 12yrs developing a 'benefits culture' within Britain, much to the joy of council estate Chavs and illegal immigrants. With unemployment figures of 2.5million being announced yesterday and 1.61m of those being on Job Seekers Allowance it looks as though it's only going to get worse. For example:
Here in Cornwall wages are shit. The average weekly income (after tax) is £230 (UK average = £360). With the recession in full swing, wages are not likely to improve for a few years (earning rose by 1.7% in the last 3 months, the slowest growth since records began in 2001).  Also, around 31% of jobs are only part-time/seasonal (UK average = 25%).
 If I was to lose my job and go onto benefits I could get at least £190 a week. As long as I write in a stupid little book that I've been trying to get work (I don't even have to give proper evidence!) I can keep getting my benefits. Even if I get a job, as long as I work less than 16 hours,I can keep my benefits!. But what if I want to work more than that? Well this is where it gets interesting!
(If we use the national minimum wage as a bench mark, which is probably a good average for Cornwall) then, if I was to work 25hrs a week I would lose some of my benefits and would be £14 a week better off. Is £14 extra a week an incentive to work versus not working at all?!.
 Then, if I worked 30hrs a week I would lose all my benefits and would be £30 better off.
Is £30 a week extra an incentive to not working at all?!
If you have kids and/or can claim for a disability, then the incentives to go back to work are even less.
So you see, once you're on benefits the incentives to get off are not 'very good'


(figures and stats from ONS, ASHE, 2008)

AAARRRGGGHHHHHH, NOT AGAIN!!!!

Not content with charging us the highest prices for what falls out the fucking sky (to keep the sea water clean for the bastard Emmets), SWW can't even get their billing system correct. For the last year I have had to ring them up to ASK for my bill, then before they send it, I get a letter threatening 'court action' for not paying the bills that I HAVEN'T received!

SOUTHWEST WATER = WANKERS

"We pay $500 to Iraqi families for each member of their family killed by one of our missiles. It costs $10,000 to ship these units back to the US. You do the maths..."

"Sounds like a win win situation to me"


Thanks to Something Awful for the inspiration

It's wrong, but so bloody funny!!

Want a luxury holiday? - Just turn ya Kids into muderous little shits!

12 years of Labour have brought us to THIS.
If you're a parent and your kids play truant from school, you can be fined and even sent to prison (you can take your kids to school, but you can't make them stay, that's the school's job!!). However, if your kid tries to kill someone, you get a holiday paid for by the tax payer so as to protect you!!
At least I now know how I'm gonna be able to afford to go to Corfu next year.....

Labour = Wankers

Jobsworth Cocks of the day

Congratulations Southend Council....

Spoilsport

"It's not clear exactly what the Monkeys do with the underwear once it's stolen or why they steal them in the first place"

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